Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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