i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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