she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
