There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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