Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize