Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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