Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked