what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.