Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
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I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.