I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza