whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.