i permit you to call me
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
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I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
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Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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