I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
