I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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