I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
