They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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