Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
