Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There's always time for handjobs
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
