Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
