Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
