There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize