This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
