I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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