I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
no, he came in my armpit
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
