Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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