Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
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Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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