"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You need a sexual gate keeper
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
