My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize