This is not my ceiling
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
