batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize