your thong is hanging out like whoa
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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