Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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