found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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