just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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