Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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