Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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