do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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