That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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