3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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