I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
