You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
