If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
