Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We left an ass print on the piano.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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