Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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