Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
