You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
