The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
