Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
