PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
nutella sex= disaster
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
