I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
