I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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