after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
