No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
