Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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