do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
