Me too!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
