Whod you bang
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
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You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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