Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
