you thought your balls were fighting each other...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
