Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
