The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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