i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
