Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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