Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize