Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
