put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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