Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
