the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
