Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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