Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
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