Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize