I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
