i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.