these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
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Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
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I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.