apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
