Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
